France

So in about 48 hours I will on my way to France. As much as I am excited I can't help but feel a little down. I dont know why. I mean people would kill to be in my place and go by themselves. I know I should be having fun and all because I am 21 and all but having fun was just never my thing. I mean I have my moments and all but I'm usually just a homebody. I know I should get out more often and all but damn my stupid ex-step dad for ruining my childhood and everything good that I had going. He always put me down as an individual and I took everything to said to heart. So I feel like crying again. I'm leaving my mom for 2 weeks. This will be hard because I haven't been away my mom more than a week and if it was for 2 weeks I was with family. But now I'm on my own and I can't help but feel like I'm this tiny kid in a big scary world. I don't know French and I keep hearing are not the friendliest of people. Blah I'm being silly. And then there is my dislike for planes. I hate the feeling when we take off. I like when the plane lands because you're back on solid land and not suspended up in the air. I've seen too many movies with planes having things go wrong, then there were about 2 planes last year in the span of a week about to crash on the runways because of they're perpendicular shape at JFK. Then this winter 2 planes skidding off runways. Makes me rethink this trip. My mom would kill me if I backed out now. So I just hope I get there safe and sound and then come back safe and sound. Last but certainly not least, I'll be missing my Krystina. I feel so bad leaving her here. I wish I could take her with me. We'd probably go search for Alain to get Joy a picture. lmao. I'll be missing her like crazy and then there are the fans which all of this wouldn't be possible. Thanks Caroline and Joy. You guys keep us going. =]

ok I've rambled long enough.

I'll leave you all with some hotness. WHAT A BABE!!